In “The Collected Schizophrenias,” Esmé Weijun Wang Maps the Terrain of Her Mental Illness

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“To be alive and sick is a far more complex endeavor than we like to admit,” Esmé Weijun Wang wrote in an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms sometimes got worse with treatment instead of better. “I was so sick for so many days that I could feel hopelessness nipping at my edges,” Wang wrote in the Catapult essay, of one particularly rough period. “What I feared was the in-between space: a purgatory for those too sick to truly live.”

Wang’s recently published essay collection, “an essay for Catapult, in 2016. Wang would know: as a teen in the Bay Area, in 2001, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Twelve years later—eight years after her first auditory hallucination—she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. When she began to experience new symptoms—weakness and fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, fainting, extreme weight loss—in 2013, doctors at first suspected an autoimmune disease, or even cancer, and eventually diagnosed her with late-stage Lyme disease. In the past two decades, Wang has been committed to a mental hospital three times. Her symptoms

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